PET Scan results

Try make this short and sweet.....I am still "processing" the news from today.
Got some "good news" and some "not so good news" to share......Why is that always how this shit works??

The PET Scan shows positive results in that "The Neils"....those were the random tumors and overgrown/overactive lymph nodes in the left side of my chest and the one on the right side have returned to normal/are gone.......NO MORE NEILS....

As for Bob (the mass in the center of my chest)....best way to describe it is think about one big island that breaks up into smaller pieces...that's kinda what it looks like Bob did on the scan results....for sure there is 

A LOT LESS OF BOB than there was back in February!!

Now for the "kicker" (the "not so great news")......what is remaining in the center of my chest  have been getting bigger and are still considered active cancer....as the oncologist put it "hot spots".....

This means we do not wait we move right into radiation therapy sooner rather than later with the hopes that the radiation will take care of these little bastards that seemed immune to the chemo-therapies.

I have an appointment with the radiation folks on Tuesday morning....I have a lot of questions before agreeing to radiation.....biggest  one is the potential for damage to surrounding tissue.

The radiation will be given pretty close to my heart and to be honest, for me the risk of damaging my heart to cure my cancer ....NOT an option....I do not want to be a survivor with a damaged heart who has limited physical activity capabilities....not the life for me!!!

So I will meet with them see what they say....with the way technology is today and how they can pinpoint the radiation to "where it needs go" I am pretty certain they will tell me my heart (and lungs) are safe.

If so then it will be radiation therapy 5 times a week for 4 weeks.......if you knew how far I live from the hospital you would understand what a BITCH that is going to be, not to mention how much the gas is going to cost....but again we deal with that when get to it....

After 4 weeks of radiation therapy we will have to wait a couple of months before the full effects of the radiation can be assessed, if at that point the cancer is still active ...then its back to 6 more rounds of chemotherapy.....

How do I feel right now???? mmmmmm.......NUMB!
For sure great news to know that plenty of the cancer responded and was wiped out by the chemotherapy, but what weighs heavy on me right now and what seemed to concern my onco is that despite the chemo there are these few spots that seemed to have gotten stronger...... 

so now we wait and see how they respond to radiation.

To be honest I am between wanting to cry my eyes out or wanting to break something.......

I am sure what I need is a good cry and a good night sleep....wake up tomorrow fresh and ready to put one foot in front of the other.......

OHHHHH BUT WAIT THE STORY DON'T END HERE.......

Remember a few weeks back when I got my first ever (and last ever) pedicure????? Can't prove its from that , but I have developed a nasty infection under the nail of the big toe on my right foot, if you push down on the nail hard enough pus will shoot out a good distance from the toe....

So I have a early morning appointment with a podiatrist to probably have the nail removed from the toe so that we can treat the infection....

How's that for my "one foot in front of the other" mentality.....

Can never do anything normal/expected and always gotta keep everyone on their toes (pun intended)

Long story short , not 100% great news today....coulda been better , but coulda been plenty worse

I haven't fought this hard to get to this point to go belly up now.....I can and will handle whats coming next

And knowing I have all of your love caring and support will help me get through.

LOTS OF PEACE LOVE AND ALOHA TO YOU ALL

Taken today June 21, 2012 made it home in time to get out on water ....

good way to say "F**K ALL THIS!!!!

(and YES that is my hair growing back)